Offline

As soon as I start blogging, I move and don't have internet. So of course, my blogging will be on hiatus until I can get internet in my new apartment.

Which also means I won't start blogging until I'm finanically stable.

Hm, maybe I will never start blogging again.

A week of firsts

What with not being in school, my sense of a week has been totally thrown off, so my week starts Tuesday because my weekend is Sunday and Monday, so Thursday I was in the middle of my week. That being said, this 'week' was a week of a lot of firsts.

Ooh, I just realized that I was being punny, because yesterday I went to go watch the SF Symphony's filming of Keeping Score and they were playing Mahler 1. I have to buy the DVD when it comes out, because I might be in it! I was in the audience, right behind the percussion.

Other firsts:

- first day back at Williams-Sonoma. It was like riding a bike. I've technically been gone for about a year and a half, and it felt like I had never left except there were a bunch of new people running the store. The first time I rang a customer up, my fingers knew what they were doing before I did.
- first time I went out with co-workers! Not like I have ANY money to spend, but when they offered to have me join them, I couldn't say no. It makes work so much easier if you're friends with the people you work with.
- tomorrow night will be my first night in my new place. I'm so excited! It's right on the corner where the light rail train turns, so I might have to get used to the noise, but it's so much more convenient to everything. Plus, I'll be that much closer to my favorite Indian restaurant, Roti.

- first blog in over a year :)

Once I get settled, I'll try to post some pictures from my hiking this summer.

I'm not sold on the layout, but I spent about 2 hours looking for this one.

I can't help you if you can't help yourself

Hm, it's been quite a while since I've blogged. But now, I've just gotten to the point where I have too much to say and not as many people to talk to consistently, so I'm picking up the blogging again. If anything to just have a place to vent.

LOTS has happened in my life in the past year, the past month, and the past week. A summation:

Big picture stuff:

• my parents are moving to San Francisco! I will no longer be going 'home' to North Carolina for holidays, etc. It's a really weird situation to be in, but I think it's going to be a really good change for all of us. Much more on that in the next month.
• I've graduated and I have a Master's degree in Flute Performance. I now have a job with the San Francisco Symphony working with the Youth Orchestra, and I have three other jobs that I really don't feel like going into right now. A musician's life is all about piecing it together.
  
• I'm moving to a new place in the city for the third time in three years. *sigh* I really dislike moving, but I'm really excited about my new place. Each time I move I have one less roommate and now I'm down to just me and my friend, Justin. I think I'm really going to enjoy only dealing with one other personality.

This weekend is going to be really hectic with lots of new things happening all at once. I have to start my third job tomorrow (I'm going back to Williams-Sonoma to have a steady income), I have to work my Youth Orchestra job between shifts at W-S and moving, and I have to move on Sunday. Our house is probably about 60% packed and about 20% clean. I think I'm being generous on the cleaning, too. It's really really filthy and I'm looking forward to having a cleared-out house to go to town in.

New discoveries about myself:

1. I really like opera. I used to think I hated it, but I've only seen Mozart and Handel operas and those are so boring I want to scratch my eyeballs out. BUT. I went to the San Francisco Opera last week and saw Il Trovatore by Verdi and fell in love with opera and the musicians in the opera pit. It is definitely a new avenue of music performance that I had ruled out until now. (I love my job at the Symphony because I get free tickets to all kinds of amazing concerts at the Symphony, Opera, and Ballet - kinda makes up for my basically minimum wage pay).

2. I love British female singers. It started with Lily Allen's "Smile" that is just a great song. But right before this summer, I discovered Adele and now pretty much every night I listen to the Pandora station that runs her songs and ones like it. Other artists on that station include Amy Winehouse (see blog title), India Arie (okay, she's not British, but she's got great songs), Corinne Bailey Rae, and Feist. If you haven't heard Adele, go download Right As Rain, my personal fav.

I recently was talking with a friend, an ex, someone I have a lot of history with. He's really struggling with identity, purpose in life, and is just searching in general. While I could sympathize (I've totally been there and in some ways still am), I realized that I feel like I've finally reached a point in my life where I really know who I am and don't apologize for the way I think or act. This self-confidence is something that I've been working to build for a while and I find it funny that if you ask any of my friends in San Francisco, they'll tell you that I have a very strong and confident personality, whereas neither of those qualities would have been apparent in middle school or even high school. My confidence is great for me, but it's not exactly transferable to other people, hence the other reason for my blog title. I wanted to help this friend, but I just can't until he starts helping himself.

One of the main reasons I started blogging again is that one of the things I really long for in my life right now is to have one person that I can tell everything to. It would be really nice to just call someone and tell them about my day and just vent about the stupid things or to think out loud and have a sounding board. I get that from various friends and parents fairly frequently, but I'm just a social person and a talkative one at that, and to have the knowledge that there's someone that makes time for me out of their day and vice versa would be great. I guess I just want a relationship, but I want the companionship part of that more than any of the other perks.

There's tons more going on in my head, but there's only so much you can share in your first blog in over a year haha. If anything, it'll be good to see my blog name at the top of the list of recently updated blogs that you read, Christa.

Just for you, Megan

Okay, so an update on my life: Here goes.

This coming Sunday is my first graduate flute recital (4/20... yes, the jokes just go and go. Such as, 'gosh, I bet the flute sounds a lot better when you're high'... etc etc) . I've been so ready for months now, but it's the polishing that takes a lot of work and I go in productivity spurts. Last week I got really uber stressed out because I was dealing with working a lot, having my extended family come into town, gigs piling up, as well as very little rehearsals with my accompanist. However, everything is cleared up and while this week doesn't look any better, my outlook on it does.

I love Trader Joe's. Today I bought: two cheese platters, salami, a chocolate raspberry tart, two packages of cookies, crackers, and 7 bottles of sparkling juice for about $35. This is all for my reception after the recital, because everyone knows that's why you REALLY go to a recital.

I'm happy that my mom has taken the initiative to invite everyone she knows in San Fran to my recital, but goodness it has added a bit of stress to my life. Now I have a gaggle of superannuated ladies (you like that word? I just learned it a couple of days ago) that are going to pinch my cheeks and such. No, really they're really sweet ladies and they even did a dry run to make sure they knew how to get from the retirement home to downtown where my school is.

In other avenues of my life, I am moving out of my house at the end of May and hopefully moving into another place where I will only have to pay for utilities. It's a place that is owned by people that want to renovate and sell it, but the renovations are going slowly and they want people to occupy the place and potentially help out with cleaning and packing. I'm pretty much willing to make all kinds of sacrifices if they're saving me $700 a month.

The new Jonathan and I have had the undefined relationship for about 5 months now. We go in week-long spurts of being very flirty and spending lots of time around each other (conveniently when school is not in session. pure coincidence... hah.) only to be followed by a very confusing time of little communication and stand offishness. I swear, I find the guys that are charmers and that know how to just keep me hanging on to their every move whether they're really interested or not. I wish men and women didn't play games with each other. And I wish I could meet people outside of school, but it's really hard and dating someone that doesn't have the dedication to music that you do can sometimes be harder than dating someone that loves their instrument more than anything or anyone else.

I'm really ready for summer, in many ways. I'm a little sick of school and looking forward to a new year and also the weather is a tease here. At least in Santa Barbara I had gorgeous weather 95% of the time. Here, it was in the mid 70s for two days and then went back to low 60's the following day. Of course, the only respite I'll get is when I'm in Houston in July. I might as well just wear a swimsuit the whole time. I have so many grand plans for what I want to get done in school next year that I can't help looking forward to next fall. I know that that is a terrible way to look at things and I should savor my last few months as a first year graduate student, but I'm excited about the potential of a new start.

As this is most likely the only free time I'll have all week that is not spent eating or sleeping, consider this my long overdue update.

For some reason, no matter what time I get back to my house, it seems like I can't fall asleep before midnight. It's like that is the established bed time that everyone has and I can't go to sleep before then or I'd be a loser.

So much has happened, but I feel like it's all little insignificant day-to-day stuff. This weekend I watched the Duke game with my mom in a sports bar (that was weird. being with my mom the non alcohol drinking saint in a place where I normally at least get a drink. that's why you go to bars. duh) and worked a lot.

I actually knew Eve Carson, but not well enough to be super upset about the whole tragedy at Carolina. Enough to be really really sad for my alma mater and feel that little tug of sympathy with my fellow Tarheels no matter what the circumstance. School allegiance is a weird thing, something that I would never have expected from myself since I was never a big fan of any of the NC schools growing up, but now I am so proud to have come from UNC and have gotten the education that I did. Not to mention the friends ;)

Oh, Eve died on the anniversary of Ross' death. How appropriate and ironic that was. I still think about him a lot.

I got into a summer music festival that I applied for, Texas Music Festival, so it looks like I'm going to be living in Houston for a month, free of charge. The main reason I applied to this program was because it was completely free (except for the plane ticket down there) with all meals paid, etc. Plus there will only be 4 flutists there, which means I will get a ton of experience. I'm still waiting to hear from Brevard, but unless they offer me the same deal, Texas here I come!

I'm driving my mom to the airport tomorrow morning, bright and early. I was feeling a little sick earlier last week and it was so nice to have Mommy time. I'm such a little only child, but it's true. Plus she paid for my groceries and gave me free food. Alas, such gifts couldn't last.

When working a little prep student recital this weekend, they had a student not show up that they were going to present a bouquet of roses. So instead they called me on stage and wanted to thank me for being such a great stage manager (it was seriously one of the easiest ones I've ever worked. I only changed the lights for intermission. that was it.) and gave me about 2 dozen roses in some of the most glorious colors. So now my house is adorned in beautiful pinks and oranges and reds everywhere. I really want to post some pictures, but my camera's batteries are dead. alas.

And finally, my last thought of the night. I can see why American Idol is addicting. I already have my favorites and I watched all 2 hours tonight even though I should have been filling out my FAFSA. oh well.

It's been one week since you looked at me

I love the Barenaked Ladies. They just have happy music and it's fun to try to get all the lyrics right to that song.

Apparently my recoveries have a half-life. This actually only applies to two 'relationships' I've been in, but I like to think that it's a trend now. Today was the first day in a week that I've been truly and completely happy for no real reason other than I've just had a good day.

Perhaps it's also because I'm slightly caffeinated and I laughed for about an hour straight while eating lunch with some friends.

That's my update for now. Practicing and lessons have gone really well, I'm past my musical plateau. I've been working or going to recitals or gigging almost every night and so have gotten free food for dinner (which is excellent since I am reallllly out of money right now). The weather was gorgeous today and I walked home and got there right before it started to pour. I have a whole 3 hours to myself before I have to go back to school and I have time to cook dinner/lunch for tomorrow!

This good mood may not last, but I consider it a blessing right now.

Bad timing

Well, February has been interesting. First I didn't write because I didn't want to jinx all the good stuff happening to me by sharing it to early. When it went away, I didn't want to write because I was still bitter and I feel like it's been too long since I wrote.

The point is, I had a great relationship for about 2 weeks and then the guy broke it off with me for very valid reasons, but it still sucks. What sucks more is that we still really like each other, but it's just bad timing.

Story of my life.

So my emotions oscillate between bitter at life, happy for the time I did have, at peace with the turn of events, and extremely sad at losing someone so quickly after we had just started getting somewhere. grrrrrrr.

That's my news. I officially hate Valentine's Day and/or February because nothing good has ever come of this time of year (except for the one spectacular one sophomore year).

Celebrity sighting of the month: T.R. Knight of Grey's Anatomy came into Williams Sonoma on Saturday. It's so true that the camera adds weight because he looked normal-skinny, not slightly baby-fat chubby like on the show. I said hi, he said hi back. woo. And no, he didn't buy anything. loser.

San Francisco - 1, Amy - 0

It's days like today when the weather is beyond nasty that I really hate where I live.

This morning, it was pouring rain. But that's not all - oh no. The wind made it almost impossible to carry an umbrella because it would just turn it inside out and there was no point for an umbrella anyway because the rain was basically going sideways. So there I was, with an umbrella in hand (some habits are hard to break) a PAPER bag (what was I thinking???) full of my lunch and shoes to change into, and my school bag, walking 4 long blocks to the light rail station.

Of course, halfway there, my bag breaks, my lunch goes everywhere, my hair is a mess, my pants are plastered to my leg, and I can't carry my umbrella any more. Then my apple goes rolling down the street, I chase it only to find that I just barely missed the train and have to wait for the next one.

San Francisco won the fight this morning. Fortunately, I don't have to leave school until 10 pm and hopefully the rain will have let up a little by then.

Ego?

I'm reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and this passage really got me thinking about my perspective on my career as well as some other musicians that put everything else after music:

"[At the YMCA camp] they made a big ego thing out of the whole outdoor experience... It made the kids at camp much more enthusiastic and cooperative when they had ego goals to fulfill, I'm sure, but ultimately that kind of motivation is destructive. Any effort that has self-glorification as its final endpoint is bound to end in disaster"... "To the untrained eye ego-climbing and selfless climbing my appear identical. Both kinds of climbers place one foot in front of the other. Both breathe in and out at the same rate. Both stop when tired. Both go forward when rested. But what a difference! The ego-climber is like an instrument that's out of adjustment. He puts his foot down an instant too soon or too late. He's likely to miss a beautiful passage of sunlight through the trees. He goes on when the sloppiness of his step shows he's tired. He rest at odd times... He goes too fast or too slow for the conditions and when he talks his talk is forever about somewhere else, something else. He's here but he's not here. He rejects the here, is unhappy with it, wants to be farther up the trail but when he gets there will be just as unhappy because the it will be 'here.' What he's looking for, what he wants, is all around him, but he doesn't want that because it is all around him. Every step's an effort, both physically and spiritually, because he imagines his goal to be external and distant."

Sorry for the lengthy quote, but it just really hit me that I feel this way sometimes, that I'm never happy with where I am because I'm always looking in the future.

When is making goals okay and when is it more important to live in the present? I made a goal to get into conservatory, and now that I'm here I'm constantly comparing myself with my peers and feeling like I don't deserve to be here sometimes or that I'm way behind everyone else. Why can't I just be content with myself and the talent that I do have?

I'm not in a relationship and most of the time I want one, but when I do have a boyfriend/husband, will I want more? Will I always be wishing I could change this or that about the other person or second guessing myself?

Finally, and probably the most important question to be asking myself at this moment is, Why have I chosen music? Is it an ego-fulfillment thing, or do I really just want to do the most with the talent I've been given? Am I grateful for where it has gotten me so far?



As an aside, I really love the "Love Song" by Sara Bareilles that Tiff has on her blog. click here for the song. It's incredibly addictive and a good "female power" song.

Think before you post

Today I slipped up. I've been doing a lot better about not letting the stupid things get to me and today I wrote (an email) before I thought and felt stupid at the sending of it. I guess it just means I'm human and I'm learning.

I'm a far cry from the crazy jealous friend I was in high school and beginning of college, but I still need to just go with the gut instinct that says 'leave it alone' instead of the emotional instinct that says 'react fast before you know better'.

It all comes down to the fact that I have too much time on my hands. I know, I know. I just can't win; either I'm too busy to function or I don't know what to do with all my free time. I wish there was a way to combine the two. Alas.

Well, school starts in 2 weeks and hopefully I'll find better ways to occupy my time than to spend 5 hours on Facebook a day. (Just kidding, I actually got a lot done today including a trip to Target, practcing, a 3 mile run, and dinner with friends).

Couch potato (and old fogie) for a week

I had possibly the least exciting New Year's Eve in many, many years. My parents and I counted down the new year at 11:09 pm and then I stayed up and read until midnight. When everyone around our house made lots of noise for about 10 minutes and then fireworks went off for another 20 minutes after that, I was perturbed. Wow. What an old lady.

But you know what? It felt great! I didn't have any obligations and I didn't pretend to have an amazing time standing around outside freezing my tush off and proving that I know my numbers backwards as well as forwards.

I have truly enjoyed my time at home; I have been a complete vegetable and occasionally venture out into the real world, of course only to go shopping or meet up with friends. I have watched a movie every day and plan on watching another one today, or at the very least the basketball game (we're 13-0 right now! Go Heels!)

As soon as I get back to San Francisco tomorrow, the speed will be turned to medium-high and then come January 22, it'll be back to insanely fast. That's why I've had no problem whatsoever with all of the intense laziness. The other good thing about this vacation is that I really haven't stuffed myself silly with sweets and the like. Given, who would turn down seconds of home-cooked food? So I have a bit of pudge to work off, but nothing that has proven detrimental to my wardrobe.

Currently, I am "reading" 5 books although some more than others. I have The Time Traveler's Wife and Why Classical Music Still Matters on the front burners, with Running With Scissors, Love in the Time of Cholera, and Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance on hold. The first one has me hooked and I've been reading 100 pages in a sitting, easily. The second is very philosophical - one of those books that you can only read 10 pages of before rereading and then mentally chewing it over before putting it down for a breather. I also read The Golden Compass in a few days and was intrigued enough to want to read the other two in the series.

Lastly, I have a new haircut that is not dissimilar to that of Posh Spice's aka Victoria Beckham. It's cute and fairly easy to take care of. Pictures to follow.

My mom and I watched a new version of Jane Eyre that the BBC did. If you like that story, then this is an amazing version, but it takes several liberties that I think work but are not true to the book. It's still 4 hours long, but worth it. I highly recommend it.

That's all for now.

Final push

I know, I know, I haven't written in forever. Whenever I think about writing, I just can't bring the energy that is needed for a lot of catching up. Plus, I'm pretty sure about 3 people read this and if you really wanted to know, you would call, which you do.

Today is my final day of work before I go home. And what a final day it is... 2-11. I'm going to be bone tired by the end of it, but I'm hoping that we're going to be so slammed that I'm not going to notice the time flying by.

It's really strange that I haven't opened my planner in about 4 days now. I used to have to rely on it so much and now I don't even bring it to school with me. I told my mom today that I don't have a medium speed in life right now. It's either go-go-go or completely dead with nothing to do and loads of time to kill.

I had started up two books a couple of weeks ago right before the insanity began that is the end of the semester and I just couldn't get through either of them. Love in the Time of Cholera is well-written, but a little long and a little slow for pure entertainment while riding the MUNI. Running with Scissors is entertaining, but more than a little grotesque in almost every chapter. I'm glad you're gay, I don't need to know the details.

So I picked up a new book this week, P.S. I love you which I saw a trailer for in the movies a while ago and thought it looked cute. It's perfect beach/vacation reading and takes about 1 oz. of intellectualism versus the 70 I had to devote to the Garcia Marquez book. I'm also hoping to grab The Golden Compass from a friend before I leave, because I've had so many people rave about it and the series it is included in.

I also recently saw the new Will Smith movie, I Am _______ something that I can't remember right now. I had absolutely no expectations walking in, but praying that it would at least make me feel okay about the fact that I had spent $9.50 to be entertained for two hours. And it was actually half-decent. It was a typical end of the world/zombie/suspense movie, but had a lot of elements that aren't usually included in those genres. Like in the middle of this really tense scene, Will Smith throws in some comic relief where least expected. The acting was great, the directing was interesting, the plot was okay, if a little random and unexplained at times.

A couple nights later my roommate and I rented Finding Nemo and The Incredibles, made hot chocolate, and ate cake and had the best girl night that I've had in a while.

Despite the relaxing, I do have quite a large shift ahead of me and I'm going to be grateful to go home for a while. It's weird being at school when no one else is here.

Don't say yes, but please don't say no

I can tell it's the end of the semester. My brain is fried, I'm procrastinating like none else, and I'm running around like the world is going to end tomorrow.

After the insane week that I had last week, this weekend was semi-relaxing and I actually have had a whole evening to myself tonight. This has been good and bad. It's good because I really don't get this kind of time and my body needs it badly. It's bad because it takes me an hour and a half to finish one homework assignment that should have taken me 20 minutes. Oh well. At least it's mostly done now (nope, couldn't even bring myself to completely finish it, that's how much I've been procrastinating).

I had my second gig of the semester today with a great guy who happens to be a great cellist. We played duos in an apartment that overlooked the whole bay and Bay Bridge and the day was perfect: clear views across the bay without a cloud in the sky. As we were leaving, we were both handed a tip and told that everything had been perfect. I'm not sure it could have gone any better. I got paid to do what I love and I enjoyed every minute of it (especially the free food and booze!! hehe)


The main reason why this weekend has been good is I've gotten to listen to a lot of old music that has calmed me down, one of which is the good ol' James Taylor CD. Oh, Nertz days when we had nothing better to do than play hours and hours of card games. I miss the lack of responsibility that I had in college, while at the same time I feel like so much more of a complete person now that I've had all these post-grad experiences.

I'm in a very contemplative mood. I had a very serious discussion with this cellist that brought back memories of Ross in a roundabout way...

Here's $5...

I was the recipient of a random act of kindness today. I'm still a little flustered, because it's never happened before and I'm astounded that people like this man exist.

I have been really tired this whole week and had to get up at 7 for a 9 am class this morning, only to find out later in the morning that I had forgotten my wallet and my lunch at home. This meant that I had to do the half hour commute home which would have been ironic and cruel seeing as I only got up to go to class. I was relating my tale to a friend standing nearby in the subway station, when a man came up to me, saying,'This is my random act of kindness. Here's $5, go get yourself some lunch,' and then got on his train.

I can see how this 'pay it forward' thing could get addictive or a part of your daily life. I felt grateful beyond words and it was just a tiny little thing, but it broke my bad mood instantly and made me want to go out and do that for someone else just so they could feel the same way.

Plus, my lunch was delicious.

I haven't blogged in forever because school is insane right now and I really don't have much free time. I took time out of my day today to write about this because it really meant a lot to me.

Thanks giving (a few days early)

The past few days have been good, relaxing, and relatively stress-free, so I'm in a good mood.

Therefore, I propose a list of things that I'm thankful for since recently I've been moaning and groaning about the fact that I have no money, talent, time, etc.

I'm thankful for:

• still having my car around. It has been really nice still driving to the grocery store and being able to be a good samaritan in general when people need a ride.

• having a beautiful place to call home. Despite all the drama, I really do have a great room that is worth every penny I pay for it.

• new friends to lean on and laugh with and old friends that are there to listen, anytime.

• having my mom in the city off and on. It's so nice to have someone that loves you unconditionally nearby.

• our neighbor that sporadically brings us cases of wine, for free.

• two perfect jobs that are relatively fun and stress-free (compared to waitressing) and that are extremely flexible. I need to remember to not take that for granted.

• having other relatives nearby to visit for holidays. There's something about being with family on important days that just gives you the same feeling as a really hot bath. Comfortable, relaxing, pampering, sometimes a little too heated, and if you stay too long you get wrinkly.

• being at my dream school. In the day-to-day activities, that's the easiest one to forget, but I'm constantly reminded how short my time is in this program, which makes me more appreciative.

• supportive parents that haven't ever given up on me and that back me up and buy me flannel sheets when my room is frigid like the North Pole.

• having the independence to start all over in a new city, new state, and new school without a second thought.

• the love for music that is as natural to me as breathing. When I think I lack in talent, I'm just comparing myself to others, which is never a good idea.

I'm sure the list could go on and on, but these are the biggies. I'll leave with a few photos, since they always spruce up my blog page anyway.

My roommate made carrot cake with cream cheese icing and I got to lick one of the beaters. Mmmmm

My roommate, Erica, on the Golden Gate Bridge. She's my heterosexual life mate, which is just a fancy way of saying that we completely understand each other. I'm grateful for her too.

I biked around 15 miles today. I was pretty darn proud of myself.

One of my friends from work is an avid biker and my roommate happens to have a pretty sweet road bike, so I borrowed the bike and got my butt kicked on a long ride today. Surprisingly, the only part of me that feels it at all is my butt. I'm not really even that tired.
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I've been having a hard time picking out pieces that I want to play on my recital this spring. I always end up choosing really difficult pieces because they're so interesting to listen to and I would much rather please my audience than my fingers. I think I have a good lineup, but I really need to start practicing for it now. My recital is April 20th. That's right: only in California, would this really be a problem since I'll have probably 1/2 of the people at my recital show up stoned. (4/20 is national blazing day, in case you're out of the loop ;) )

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I hung out with some girls this weekend that I haven't really gotten a chance to see outside of school and it was a really interesting study in people's perceptions of you vs. how you see yourself. I suppose my personality has changed from living in California and making new sets of friends because my roommate often remarks how direct I am and how uber confident I seem. Those two qualities are probably some of the last things I think about myself. I tend to see myself as passive aggressive, but lately I've been trying to live honestly. If you're honest with someone (even yourself), things tend to work themselves out a lot quicker. So I guess that's where the directness comes in. The confidence is a shock to me because I've had to work soooo hard on having confidence in my music-making abilities, so perhaps I just channel all confidence into other areas of my life.

I can tell you right now that when I saw the chef walk into WS yesterday and turned 5 shades of red and stammered that he had left his bag and my business card in the store a few weeks ago, I was not exactly the most confident-seeming person in the world.

I have, however, been trying to put myself out there more in the dating world. I'm going on a date later this week with a guy that's a lot younger than me, but he seems pretty interesting. On the bus the other day I started up a conversation with a guy because we kept eyeing each other. Of course, I started the conversation about 2 minutes before I got off, but it's progress. And then I slipped this business card in the chef's bag. That was probably the gutsiest move I've pulled in a while.

Mark November 8th as officially Amy Hell Day.

I've complained to enough people about it to make me feel somewhat better and I'm sure my complaining isn't helping anything, but I've been up since the crack of dawn (literally) and won't get home until 16 hours later. That's one long day.

We had official holiday decorating in Williams Sonoma and so I had to wake up at 4 am to get to work at 6 am to hang live garlands. Then I proceeded to school for a rehearsal at 7 pm and after then I have to go home to finish a paper and do other homework. I deserve a very very large nap and drink after tomorrow's duties.

Looks like I'm not the only one with a busy schedule though, so I shouldn't really complain.

I'm really looking forward to this weekend - I have a potential dinner out with a friend from work, a bike ride on Sunday morning, and brunch with another friend from work Sunday afternoon. Practicing? What's that?


I just have to keep pushing for a week and a half and then Thanksgiving is upon us!! Not only do I get to go to southern Cali, but I get to make a day trip to Santa Barbara and see all my friends!

I still have pine sap on my hands and smell like Christmas trees.

It's Christmas!

Okay, it's really not, but it certainly is in retail world. The sad part is that I've gotten so used to this 'putting up Christmas before November even gets here' that I don't even find it unusual and have really gotten into the fall spirit. (I can't say I actually have thought about buying presents yet).

These past couple weeks have just been the weeks where a lot has happened, but nothing that I've felt really needed to be blogged about. That or I was just too dang tired to write.

I have officially decided that I hate Halloween, though. Fall, I love and will celebrate all the time. Halloween SUCKS. We need to just take it off our calendars. I have never ever had a Halloween I liked since I was probably 10 and now that I don't even want the candy and I have no creativity for costumes, there's really no point for it to exist. So it goes without saying that I really didn't celebrate this year.

It's really scary to me that November is already here, which means that my semester is almost over, which means that I'm a quarter of the way through my master's degree and I feel like I just got started. Time here is extremely precious and I have so much that I want to learn! Ah, becoming an adult. It means actually craving intellectual settings and higher education. Who woulda thunk. The only real difference at my conservatory is that I sometimes put a half-hearted effort into my papers and still recieve an A-plus. I almost wish I had to work harder for that 4.0.

I'm truly enjoying being single for the moment. It means I get to flirt with whomever, whenever I want and have fun the whole time. I almost got sucked into a major crush, but when it started taking over my thoughts and practice time, I nipped it in the bud. No boy is going to get in the way of my degree or my career. So there! (he also happened to not return my feelings, an important aside to the story)

I had a good fall break, taking a hike nearby in Muir Woods, going for a bike ride, watching TV, and relaxing. However, I'm going to desperately need some time away from this city in a few weeks for Thanksgiving. I'm going down to Santa Monica for the long weekend, and I thoroughly expect to be treated like the favorite (and only) niece that needs to be pampered, wined and dined.



I will leave you with a fun Williams-Sonoma anecdote:

We have walkies at work, with earpieces so no one else in the store can hear our conversations. On Thursday, my friend Nick announced to all the associates on said walkie that a man had just walked into our store with a bottle of wine, proceeded to the floor with wineopeners, used a $100 wineopener on display to open the bottle of wine, recorked it, and walked out. No joke. I'm not sure what my reaction would have been had I actually see this happen, but I most likely would have been speechless. Who does that???? Really?? Oh, the customers we get...