the future?

One of the guys that I work with is fairly new along with me.
He's really cute and is older without really looking it - he's 29 and is a computer graphics designer. Last night he casually threw into the conversation the fact that he's been married before and it lasted 6 years.... At first, I was thrown off by the fact that this boy that I've been interested in has been married. Then I was thrown off by the fact that this was so casually said by him. It was definitely one of those times when you really want to know more but you obviously can't ask the one question that everyone wants to ask, "what went wrong?"

Finally, I was thrown off by the fact that he's 29 - which means that he got married when he was around my age or a little later and now is divorced. What a scary thought! Thankfully I had lost interest in him before last night or else I would have been worried that something like this would have completely turned me off. But would that be such a bad thing? I guess it just intimidates me that there are people in the world my age that have lived what seems like much fuller lives. But maybe they've had to grow up too fast and are now wishing that they had taken a year or two off.

When I was talking to one of my friends on the phone the other day, I came to the realization that a year off for me should be exactly that - a year off. I shouldn't be worried about trying to live my life exactly like I did in North Carolina because 1. I was a student there and 2. I'm in a new place experiencing new things. I had been beating myself up for relaxing and not being on the go all the time, but I'm learning that sometimes you just gotta take a step back and enjoy what's thrown in your path.

The only big regret that I have right now is that I'm not in a very spiritually uplifting place in church or with the friends that I've made so far. I didn't think that I would miss it this much, but I do and now I'm not sure how to get it back.

wow - 2 posts in one day. I told you I have too much free time some days. It's also because I'm avoiding packing... *shh* don't tell.