My mom just informed me last night that they're not moving to San Fransisco. I'm such an emotional wreck that I was actually upset. I had just gotten used to the idea that we were all uprooting ourselves and getting a fresh start and I was really looking forward to exploring a new city. I guess just the fact that I've been having a blast in California and it's only been a month means that I really love it here and I wanted my parents to have a similar experience.
So now I have to deal with the fact that I won't get to visit them as much as I was planning, that I will have to fly out to the east coast several times, and that I will have to decide between seeing my family during Thanksgiving or Christmas. I'm sure there are good things about this as well, number one being that I still get to see some dear friends currently residing in North Carolina. Secondly, I don't have to say goodbye to the place that I've grown up in and that feels so comfortable.
I just really thought it was time to move on and it felt right, but I'm not the one that really has to live there, so I just have to be supportive to my parents in whatever decision they think is right...
I thought my job was going to be the most amazing one in the world when I saw his name on the table for the Summerdance Dinner and Party that was being held last night. Then I learned that the tables were just named after dancers and dance groups... It wasn't a completely empty hope; he had been to the Festival earlier this summer, but he wasn't at the dinner last night. If you don't know him as the best male dancer in the world, you would know him as Carrie's French or Russian boyfriend in Sex and the City in the last season. But he hates it when people refer to that (understandably so).
Aside from that disappointment, last night was a lot of fun because our restaurant turned into a catering party and I had to walk around with glasses of wine and mingled with Santa Barbara's elite society. It was an easy job - just keep the drinks coming - and everyone paid handsomely to have a fun evening. The party lasted from 8-12:30 complete with dance party at the end that the waiters all danced to as we were cleaning up. Sorry if this is boring, but it's my life right now and it was fun.
Since I was there from 4 to the end, I and some others had to take a half hour break and so the other new guy, David, and I went to a bar that was right next door. Hahaha. Yes, we drank on our half hour off and came back and finished cleaning up. Have I mentioned that I like working for a non-corporate restaurant??
Needless to say, since I got in at 1:30 after a very long shift at work, I didn't go to church this morning. But I can't see how someone can not go to church every week - I feel like my day isn't really complete. No matter how much you get out of it for that one hour, it's the satisfaction that you at least kept the Sabbath which somehow despite the old Bible language, really is important even today. I'm hoping that once I move downtown I can start exploring some of the churches, but I have to say that going to the Christian Science church for the past month has been such a blessing - I got a car, some lovely people to show me around Santa Barbara, and a lot of welcoming arms.
Today was a day off of multiple things. I didn't have to work, which meant I could sleep in without any worry of being able to get stuff done before I have to take the bus. I also dropped my flute off yesterday to get its yearly cleaning and checkup and so I have the day off from practicing!
It's nice to not have a teacher around, but I get to a certain point after about 2 weeks when I need the motivation (either in good or bad comments) to keep me going. So I'm not sure how this whole not seeing her for a month thing is going to go. Especially since I'm supposed to have a very important lesson in LA in a month without any guidance from here on out.
Things are still going well - I've been thrown in viciously to the restaurant work since we got slammed last night and it was only me and the girl I'm supposed to be shadowing. So I basically did half of the work and got none of the tips. Ah, training. I also have a car starting in September, but it's really the month of August that I need it to commute to and from work - well, I'm not complaining.
I'm waiting for the right person *ahem* to take to my restaurant on a night off because I'm dying to have dinner there and I get 50% off.
With a car, going out with my roommates, and working downtown, I feel like I'm really starting to get to know the little nooks and crannies of this place and all the cool places to be. My roommate Amanda and I are planning on heading downtown for happy hour today and I'm really excited. There are some really nice places that have incredibly cheap happy hours and fun specials. Plus, it's a bonding opportunity complete with shopping and drinks. Who could ask for a better Friday afternoon?
remember that comment about spending too much money??
well, I just bought a wetsuit.
Yay for surfing lessons!
I was talking to one of my friends last night and she told me that my life is like a friggin' fairy tale. While I agree things have been coming together pretty nicely, I really didn't believe her until this morning. It sometimes takes someone else's perspective to make you really appreciate what you have.
I called this lady from church this morning who had mentioned that she had an old car that she and her husband were thinking of lending to someone for the 6 months that they'll be gone. I told her that I had somewhere I really wanted to go today and whether I could borrow the car just for the day. She said of course!
Well, I got there and the car is a Chevy Blazer (an SUV) that is 15 years old but in really good condition. Then she said that they were thinking of letting me use it while they were gone! There's nothing definite yet, but oh my gosh it would make my life soooo much easier! Plus I could take trips to LA, San Fransisco, SLO, and random road trips. Not to mention the fact that I wouldn't have to ride the bus any more and could operate on my own schedule.
The funny thing is that with all this freedom, my mind is going a million miles a minute trying to figure out where to go today with these miraculous wheels when I really just need to go ride my bike to campus and practice for a couple hours. Which I will probably end up doing because I haven't taken a single day off in a month and I'm pretty darn proud of that.
Lately I've been spending way too much money. It's like once the card comes out, it doesn't know how to stay in my wallet. Really it just means that I was so on top of my game the first couple weeks here that I got excited about all the money that I was saving. So I started spending it. Then I decided I would treat myself a couple times that ended up being a whole lot more than a couple. Now I'm contemplating buying a wetsuit after I have officially put myself in the whole for at least a shift and a half at the restaurant (that I haven't officially started working at yet).
Why can't I get addicted to running again? I think it's just not as fun when you don't have a goal and you don't have the added incentive of a race and someone to run it with. Maybe I'll have to find a new one (race not running partner because who could replace the fabulous Christa?)
tying a tie. I have to wear all black and a tie for work. I'm actually sorta excited. Now I can finally tie one!
Okay, so you can't really see it in the picture, but you can see my new makeup! So that's exciting too.
Man, I'm glad I got this job when I did because the girls in my program are leaving, my teacher is leaving for a month, and the grad student flutist is also leaving for a month. That leaves my roommates to hang out with and they've been gone both nights, so I've been hanging out in my apartment watching TV and playing dress up (see exhibit A).
There are two reasons why today was amazing:
1. I got a job!!!!
I'm working at a restaurant called Nu (literally translated in French it means Naked) and it's basically amazing. Here's the link if you want to go look at their website - it's worth it, I promise.
www.restaurantnu.com
So to make what I want to, I only need to work 3 or 4 shifts a week and the manager was cool with the fact that I want to work mostly nights and want specific days off. They only hired 2 other new people and I was one of them!! The uniform is hot (as in really warm), but it looks professional and I even have to wear a tie. I start training next week and have a steady job for the rest of the year but it appears like its not going to wear me out too much. I couldn't have asked for a better place to work at.
2. My teacher here said she would take me as a grad student next year.
Now given, staying at UCSB would be my backup position, but I have a definite place that I can go to grad school and an awesome teacher to work with. After only 3 weeks, she told me that she would accept me in a heartbeat.
Things are really looking up. The only things that bothers me right now is transportation and I need to find a place to stay by September, but it shouldn't be that hard since new things go up on Craig's List every day. *big sigh of relief* Now I feel like I totally deserve all that makeup I bought yesterday. hehe.
I just spent an outrageous amount of money on new makeup. One of the girls here is a Mary Kay specialist and she did makeovers for three of us girls. I figured that I have an important interview tomorrow and I was running out of my regular stuff anyway. I just spent a little more than I should have... oops.
I think it's worth it though. The way I rationalize it is, if I get the job tomorrow I should pay for everything in half a day's work. Ouch.
Today was very fun though because I made salsa from scratch, spent 2 hours getting a makeover, toasted mashmallows over dying coals in a grill, bonded with some awesome girls, and played Boggle. Oh and I got to play with a kitty.
Have you ever dreamt that one of your friends died? Okay I know it sounds morbid and I promise I'm not thinking of killing people off, but I had a really disturbing dream that my friend Ross died.
It was one of those times where you wake up really shaken and you can't really get rid of the feeling for the rest of the day. I guess it was sort of a nightmare where I was crying nonstop and had to go through the funeral and everything.
Mm, really upbeat I know. But it's been on my mind since I got up this morning.
The strange thing is that in my dream we were apparently a lot closer than we actually are and so I was a whole lot more upset than I probably would be. Which sounds a little bad, but you know what I mean.
On another note, I have decided to be a waitress in Santa Barbara. I'm going searching for jobs today and I should be able to find something that will very comfortably give me enough to live on and save up for graduate school auditions. I'm starting to learn that although the living is quite high here, the jobs also pay well if you know where to look. I'm going to live downtown and work downtown and then commute to campus once a week for lessons and studio and such.
I want to cut my hair so badly!!! But I have to wait until Colleen's wedding in September because everyone is getting an updo and it'll be nice to have long hair that will actually stay up. After that though, it's all coming off. I miss only having to dry my hair for 5 minutes. Christa's new haircut looks really cute and I'm hoping to get a new look come mid-September.
Today's objectives: Find a waitressing job (possibly at Cafe Buenos Aires where they have really good mojitos and a live band on the weekends and entrees start at $25), buy a lacrosse ball for massaging, and get a wetsuit so hot German boy can teach me to surf...
*and now for a little girl talk/evaluation*
for those of us without boyfriends, we like to hash and rehash how we interact with boys. And by we i mean me. So I saw Martin (aka hot German surfer) yesterday on my run. So I tried to play it cool and called out his name and waved, but then just ran by without stopping to say anything. Good move? Bad move? Do I seem disinterested now? Or am I playing hard to get?
The thing is that its really not that big a deal and knowing how some boys minds work, he probably thought nothing of it except, oh there's Amy or Bonfire Girl or however I'm known to him.
Okay, I'm done rehashing. Time to see how many things I can get checked off my list! Oh and check the mail in the next couple days ;)
Oh man. I went for a 4 1/2 slash 5 mile run yesterday and it was awesome. I don't actually know how long it was, but I ran w/ one of my roommates and we were gone for 45 minutes. It proved to myself that I really am still in shape because I wasn't too worn out afterwards and I never wanted to stop.
In other news, I had an incredible lesson today. The best part of this program is that everything just clicks really quickly, so I'm actually not practicing a whole lot, but the hours that I spend are incredibly productive. It's completely not set up the way I thought it would be, but I'm making as much progress as I was hoping so I guess that's all that matters.
Hm, nothing else really exciting is going on. I think I've decided to waitress somewhere because the hours are flexible and I can have the whole day to practice and just work at night. Plus, there are so many chic places here where you can easily spend $50 a person on dinner. Now lets hope that those restaurants are hiring :)
Here are some long overdue pictures of the beautiful place in which I live.
This is where I go running most mornings and it overlooks the beach the entire way.
Hm, I'm not sure how this post will actually look, but I'm new at the pictures thing. Anyway, I need to get out with my camera more often because the entire city of Santa Barbara is one big photo opportunity. More later.
Well, I have internet now, which is super exciting. I think it sorta comes and goes until I can get an ethernet cable, but something is better than nothing. Now I really don't have to leave my apartment except to practice! Oh, and grocery shop. And maybe go to the beach.
Speaking of which, I may have found my surfer dude to teach me to surf. This guy Martin is a chemistry grad student (originally from Germany) and surfs and is super cute and has agreed to teach me. Now I just have to buy a wet suit and commit. Woohoo!
I met a bunch of new people last night at a bonfire that a flute grad student threw and it was a lot of fun. We made kabobs with amazing fresh California produce (I don't think I'll ever get over how great the food is here) and s'mores of course with a heavy dose of good beer to go along. I'm not sure you can drink anything else when you're on the beach - it just doesn't seem right. Everyone brought guitars and sang and just messed around and it was perfect. I even made my solo debut as a congo drummer!!
Now I'm in my apartment and I'm seriously considering giving myself the day off since I've been running around like crazy all week. I think it's a good catchup day with a good amount of reading and movie watching inbetween. I deserve it, right??
Man I had a blast yesterday.
I went downtown with some of the girls in my program and we spent the whole afternoon/evening walking around and enjoying this beautiful city. I learned the bus route and figured out that students can ride it for free and it takes about 20 min to get to the center of Santa Barbara, which isn't too bad. I also picked up a newspaper and found out that there's a French conversation group every Wednesday at a restaurant somewhere downtown! I'm totally going next week.
We went to this landmark called the courthouse that follows the building "dresscode" of white stucco and red tile roofs but it was soooo beautiful. There was a garden in the center of the courtyard and you could go up four stories and overlook the whole city. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and you could see 360 degrees. It was breathtaking.
Then to top it all, we went to go see Pirates in a movie theater called the Arlington. The cool thing about the theater is that it only shows one movie and it's in a hall like Memorial or Bloomenthal. In fact, the Santa Barbara Symphony plays there and it can hold thousands of people in the audience. It was so cool to go to a movie and have hundreds of people all there watching it too and to be in an amazing concert hall.
The possibilities of transporation are opening up and I'm getting to know the city better and I feel much more able to go out on my own and explore. I'm learning that people don't really go to the beach here except on the weekends. It just happens to be conveniently close when you do want to go.
Oh, and I'm getting together with a guy today for coffee. He's the son of a lady I met at church, but don't get too excited. He's in his 30's and no he will not be another Marc. But it'll be good to have someone to talk to that's seen the world, has grown up in Christian Science, and is feeling like a newcomer to this town. He's an ex-Marine and has lived in Russia and China I believe, so conversation should be interesting.
That's all for now. How come no one's posting on the other blog? It makes me sad...
The joys of having your own apartment are neverending. I thought that I would like having my own place, but nothing prepared me for the excitement of cooking in my own kitchen and going shopping for groceries on a lovely small budget. There's just something so thrilling in buying produce and knowing that it will turn into a delicious, filling, and somewhat-gourmet meal sometime down the road.
It also is a sort of game to me to see how much I can get at this cool organic store called Trader Joe's (we NEED them in NC - they're pretty much amazing) for much less than I would, say, at Harris Teeter. I'm addicted, what can I say. My new favorite cereal is called Puffins and it's this cinnamon goodness in a tiny corn square that is full of fiber and other good stuff for you and you only need a tiny bowl but the box only costs $3.50 and it gets you through a week and a half. That's what I call a bargain. Katherine, I don't know if you read this, but you should be excited that I eat from a box that has a large puffin on the front of it.
I'm also addicted to trail mix called Sweet, Salty and Tart and it has peanuts, chocolate chips, dried cranberries, yellow raisins, white chocolate chips, almonds, peanut butter chips, and peanuts with a sweet coating. Ohmygoodness its delicious. Needless to say, I have gained some of my weight back and need to go running like nobody's business.
The biggest thing on my mind right now is the fact that I do not have a job or any prospective of one in the near future. So that's my project for the next few weeks or until I get one. There are so many qualifications and so many more qualifications for where I get an apartment starting in September and the fact that I don't have a car complicates things so much. Ah, cruel irony when I thought that selling Peach, my Toyota, was a good idea.
Interestingly enough, my aunt (the one I thought wasn't too religious) was talking to me yesterday and told me to pray about the situation and that she has noticed that things always work out for the best for me. It's all true and my conversation with her made me that much happier that I have family close by that awaits my beck and call.
Or is it beckon call? I never have figured that out...
Yay! It looks like the sun is coming out. It's been sorta foggy for the past three days.
I just had an insane past four days. But now the program is all over and it feels a little sad. I'm not sure that I'm going to have as much motivation and amazing people surrounding me for the next few weeks, but I'll deal. It'll be nice not having to listen to flute music for 7 hours every day, as much as I love my instrument.
Also since most of the women were either married or engaged I was having serious ring envy. So that's another reason I'm glad its ending. haha.
Now I have free time and I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it. I think since it's actually *gasp* a little cold outside I'm going to go curl up and read a book. I'm also going to treat myself to Indian food for lunch since I played well in my huge audition.
We had a mock audition and I didn't advance, but it was the first time I'd ever done a real orchestra audition, so I was quite proud of myself. This giving myself treats thing shouldn't last too long though b/c I'm going grocery shopping and right now I could totally buy out the ice cream or chocolatey trail mix sections.
Yesterday was an up. Today was a down. That's how life goes sometimes. But it's only 2:00 - things could change.
I tried to be outgoing and just glom onto some girls/women from the flute program here. Perhaps I shouldn't have "glommed" too much because I think I was a little intense. It's really just because I'm so far behind these people in terms of where they are in their life, which is fine because they're all about 5 years older than me at least. So I'm okay with the fact that I don't fit in - I'm not okay with the fact that I don't have someone to really talk to here yet.
Yesterday I got to talk to Amy Stelling who is this amazing freshman that I met this year. She is the expression of joy and it was so good getting caught up with her. I think I told her a lot of stuff that I haven't told anyone about my time here in California which is just funny since I would never call her my best friend even though she's amazing. Then I got a phone call from Jonathan which also made me happy since he's another one of those people (ahem) that never call, you always have to call them. Let that be a lesson to you.
I'm super worn out from this weekend already. I listened to 8 hours of flute music yesterday and I'm set to do it again today. It doesn't leave a whole lot of free time and I have to decide whether eating or practicing is more important. Usually food wins out - what can I say.
Even though I was exhausted, I went with my roommates to one of their friends houses right on the beach (Del Playa is THE party street). It was fun and I got to flirt like mad. I even gave a boy my number *gasp*. Okay so it was a lot of fun.
Today my old insecurity has come back and I don't really know where it comes from. I think the only explanation is that all these flutists in the program get such affirmation because they actually get to perform in the masterclass but I just have to sit back and listen. Normally this would be fine since I don't have to get nervous and put myself out there but I tend to need a lot of ego-boosting recently. I guess just because I need confidence in something.
Well, I'm taking it day by day. For now it's off to practice and then many more hours of flute masterclasses.
For all you cat lovers, you've seen the cat that races from room to room and then stops suddenly as if they can't remember exactly what their hurry was. I feel like that today because I raced to the library and was full of purpose for all of the things that I wanted to do on the internet and now I have no idea what I wanted to do.
I feel like there's hope after all for meeting people "my age" aka grad students that are mature here because I went to the beach last night w/ some of my roommates and their friends to watch the 4th of July fireworks and I met some really cool girls that shared a lot of the same interests as me like hiking, sushi, and running. And one of the girls told me that there are lots of people that are grad students living in somewhat quiet places that are looking for the same thing that I am.
Have I mentioned yet that UCSB is a party school? You told me, Christa, but I didn't listen. It's like freshman year all over again only worse because I'm living in a mixture of a hall crawl, a block party, and frat court. That's what Isla Vista is - 10 blocks of college students in dingy apartments that love to party. Woop dee freakin doo.
Since I'm all about symbolism and I used to love to collect key chains, I went and bought one today that is in the shape of a palm tree and has UCSB written on it. The kicker is that the trunk of the palm tree is a bottle opener. Hahahaha.
My #1 goal for the week is to get to the beach. I've been running on the bluffs, but I haven't actually gone and laid out. Can you believe it? I'm in California and I haven't been to the beach yet. This is getting fixed pronto.
I plan on taking my camera with me tomorrow morning to the place that I run every morning because it is SO beautiful. Words can't describe it so hopefully I can get some pictures posted soon.
Bottom line? I'm feeling more comfortable here, getting to know the place, getting a routine and gosh darn it, I'm improving my little butt off on the flute. I've only been playing 3 days and I can tell a difference. I love summer programs.
Well, I'm in California. I have so many mixed feelings but really I'm just getting settled in. I haven't quite started my program yet (we meet today at 4) so I haven't gotten a routine going. It's been great having my uncle, aunt and cousin here so that they can drive me around and take me to nice restaurants and generally just be here to distract me. Below is a list of pros and cons of taking this big step:
Pros:
1. California weather is amazing and it's been in the 80s with no humidity for the past four days.
2. I live 3 blocks from the beach and can go for runs up and down the coast any time I want.
3. I have a huge shower.
4. My teacher is super sweet and is like a second mother.
5. I will have my own practice room with a key so I can leave stuff in there.
6. I don't have to buy a bike - I get to borrow one from the girl that I'm subleasing from.
7. From going to church and meeting my uncle's client, I have 4 new "families" that are willing to do anything for me.
8. I have an avocado tree right next to my balcony.
9. Santa Barbara really is beautiful and nothing like the downtown of Charlotte - no building is over 3 stories high and they're all white stucco with red tile roofs.
10. There are so many cheap and wonderful restaurants nearby.
11. I have a huge kitchen.
Cons
1. I miss everything that's comfortable: family, Charlotte, my home, friends.
2. My roommate's boyfriend sleeps over in our room.
3. The area that my apartment is in is a party area. But then so is the entire college of UCSB apparently.
4. I don't have a car and Santa Barbara is very spread out.
5. I don't know my way around yet (something very fixable).
Well the pros far outweigh the cons, but it just takes me a while to feel comfortable in a new place, no matter how awesome it is. There's a lot to be grateful for and I know I was brought here for a reason, but I'm definitely outside of my comfort zone. Well, it's France all over but this time I can speak the language! Definite plus.
I feel like there are a million more things I could say, but I have to go make some phone calls, hang out with the fam, change, go to an interview, and go to my first flute meeting. The best thing about these days is that they are packed and I don't really have a whole lot of down time.
Letters and phone calls and emails are much appreciated :)