4:01 PM

Offline

As soon as I start blogging, I move and don't have internet. So of course, my blogging will be on hiatus until I can get internet in my new apartment.

Which also means I won't start blogging until I'm finanically stable.

Hm, maybe I will never start blogging again.

8:44 AM

A week of firsts

What with not being in school, my sense of a week has been totally thrown off, so my week starts Tuesday because my weekend is Sunday and Monday, so Thursday I was in the middle of my week. That being said, this 'week' was a week of a lot of firsts.

Ooh, I just realized that I was being punny, because yesterday I went to go watch the SF Symphony's filming of Keeping Score and they were playing Mahler 1. I have to buy the DVD when it comes out, because I might be in it! I was in the audience, right behind the percussion.

Other firsts:

- first day back at Williams-Sonoma. It was like riding a bike. I've technically been gone for about a year and a half, and it felt like I had never left except there were a bunch of new people running the store. The first time I rang a customer up, my fingers knew what they were doing before I did.
- first time I went out with co-workers! Not like I have ANY money to spend, but when they offered to have me join them, I couldn't say no. It makes work so much easier if you're friends with the people you work with.
- tomorrow night will be my first night in my new place. I'm so excited! It's right on the corner where the light rail train turns, so I might have to get used to the noise, but it's so much more convenient to everything. Plus, I'll be that much closer to my favorite Indian restaurant, Roti.

- first blog in over a year :)

Once I get settled, I'll try to post some pictures from my hiking this summer.

11:33 PM

I'm not sold on the layout, but I spent about 2 hours looking for this one.

9:51 PM

I can't help you if you can't help yourself

Hm, it's been quite a while since I've blogged. But now, I've just gotten to the point where I have too much to say and not as many people to talk to consistently, so I'm picking up the blogging again. If anything to just have a place to vent.

LOTS has happened in my life in the past year, the past month, and the past week. A summation:

Big picture stuff:

  • my parents are moving to San Francisco! I will no longer be going 'home' to North Carolina for holidays, etc. It's a really weird situation to be in, but I think it's going to be a really good change for all of us. Much more on that in the next month.
  • I've graduated and I have a Master's degree in Flute Performance. I now have a job with the San Francisco Symphony working with the Youth Orchestra, and I have three other jobs that I really don't feel like going into right now. A musician's life is all about piecing it together.
  • I'm moving to a new place in the city for the third time in three years. *sigh* I really dislike moving, but I'm really excited about my new place. Each time I move I have one less roommate and now I'm down to just me and my friend, Justin. I think I'm really going to enjoy only dealing with one other personality.
This weekend is going to be really hectic with lots of new things happening all at once. I have to start my third job tomorrow (I'm going back to Williams-Sonoma to have a steady income), I have to work my Youth Orchestra job between shifts at W-S and moving, and I have to move on Sunday. Our house is probably about 60% packed and about 20% clean. I think I'm being generous on the cleaning, too. It's really really filthy and I'm looking forward to having a cleared-out house to go to town in.

New discoveries about myself:

1. I really like opera. I used to think I hated it, but I've only seen Mozart and Handel operas and those are so boring I want to scratch my eyeballs out. BUT. I went to the San Francisco Opera last week and saw Il Trovatore by Verdi and fell in love with opera and the musicians in the opera pit. It is definitely a new avenue of music performance that I had ruled out until now. (I love my job at the Symphony because I get free tickets to all kinds of amazing concerts at the Symphony, Opera, and Ballet - kinda makes up for my basically minimum wage pay).

2. I love British female singers. It started with Lily Allen's "Smile" that is just a great song. But right before this summer, I discovered Adele and now pretty much every night I listen to the Pandora station that runs her songs and ones like it. Other artists on that station include Amy Winehouse (see blog title), India Arie (okay, she's not British, but she's got great songs), Corinne Bailey Rae, and Feist. If you haven't heard Adele, go download Right As Rain, my personal fav.

I recently was talking with a friend, an ex, someone I have a lot of history with. He's really struggling with identity, purpose in life, and is just searching in general. While I could sympathize (I've totally been there and in some ways still am), I realized that I feel like I've finally reached a point in my life where I really know who I am and don't apologize for the way I think or act. This self-confidence is something that I've been working to build for a while and I find it funny that if you ask any of my friends in San Francisco, they'll tell you that I have a very strong and confident personality, whereas neither of those qualities would have been apparent in middle school or even high school. My confidence is great for me, but it's not exactly transferable to other people, hence the other reason for my blog title. I wanted to help this friend, but I just can't until he starts helping himself.

One of the main reasons I started blogging again is that one of the things I really long for in my life right now is to have one person that I can tell everything to. It would be really nice to just call someone and tell them about my day and just vent about the stupid things or to think out loud and have a sounding board. I get that from various friends and parents fairly frequently, but I'm just a social person and a talkative one at that, and to have the knowledge that there's someone that makes time for me out of their day and vice versa would be great. I guess I just want a relationship, but I want the companionship part of that more than any of the other perks.

There's tons more going on in my head, but there's only so much you can share in your first blog in over a year haha. If anything, it'll be good to see my blog name at the top of the list of recently updated blogs that you read, Christa.