Mood swings

I'm now in the scared, slightly anxious, and nostalgic part of my departure. I've started to say goodbye to a lot of people including my favorite Megan Deluca (because who else reads this faithfully??). I think I've comprehended the fact that I'm not going to see these people potentially for a long time. While that makes me sad, at the same time I look at all the people that I've grown closer to because of large distances and that makes me feel a lot better.

In fact, I think that I had some really great conversations and growth in friendships when I was gone for a semester and that is a good indication of what will happen when we all start going our seperate ways. A good way to keep in touch, as Megan noted, would be to start our own blog. I'm not sure how good I would be at keeping two up, so I would probably just stick to the group one, but at least I would still update you. So go for it, Megan, you know you want to set it up.

So to go with the title, I should note that while it's finally dawning on me that I'm actually leaving for a very long time, I'm putting off everything that I need to do until the very last minute. This is actually not very usual for me seeing as I love to plan and I love to be as prepared as possible. I think it's a very high form of denial plus the fact that I have so many hugely important things that are constantly going through my head that I just push to the back until I want to deal with it.

Let's add to all this that I'm blogging at 10:00 at night when I haven't packed, my room still looks half-lived in, and I just spent the past 8 hours just hanging out with Megan and Jonathan. I'm procrastinating in facing the future that will inevitably come in 2 1/2 days whether I want it to or not. Am I saving myself sanity or not? I like to think so...

Well, off to pretend to do something productive and then get ready for bed and play Spider Solitaire. Haha, I know myself so well.