I hate it when I'm wrong.

But don't we all?

I hate it when I get excited about something a little too early and whatever plans I've made fall through. I hate it when I misjudge someone's reliability only to find out that they are a flaker, or worst of all when I don't see someone for the true friend they could be. Well, I'm working on it.

I truly believe that when I broadcast something new and exciting in my life before it has time to settle that it jinxes it. I'm not a superstitious person and I think usually it's a bunch of baloney, but this is my main motivation in not thinking about where I could be next year and getting excited about a certain city or school. I'm just trying to take it one step at a time.

Today in church I was really struck with the idea that there's no reason for me to be nervous about my auditions because wherever I end up is my right place, as much as I think that I don't want to be stuck here next year. I could never ever have forseen living in Santa Barbara this year and all the amazing stuff that would happen (my parents say that I will never get an apartment this good anywhere else I go ... I'll just have to prove them wrong ;) ). And to think that last March, I was sobbing because things didn't go my way. *Sigh* Trusting is alway such a hard lesson to learn.