It was the best of intentions, it was the worst of intentions

For some reason, I've only posted recently when I've been feeling insecure or depressed. Probably because when I feel like this way, at least someone's listening to me, even if it's not like callinga friend up and venting.

Today I was supposed to go out with the boy again and he hadn't called by the afternoon so I said screw it, I'm not going to wait by the telephone and called someone from work that I knew was sick and had to work that night and asked if he wanted me to fill in for him. I told myself that by going in I could 1. earn money, 2. flirt with the cute bartender, 3. help out a sick friend, and 4. show someone that they couldn't just call me whenever. Well.

I made no money, the bartender flirted with the other waitress the whole night, I felt lousy, and no one ever called. My intentions were somewhat good for helping out my friend, but I knew as well as you that that wasn't the main reason that I went into work and I got screwed for it.

Now I'm sitting at home, alone at 9:30 at night and feeling depressed and lonely. Haha, this is beautiful California, folks. Actually, I'm sure the cold weather isn't helping much and I'm really just being moody, but it certainly hasn't been the best day.

And I have an important recital tomorrow. Well, I'll just make sure to wake up on the right side of the bed this time.