So I have been wrestling with the decision of what to do next year if I don't get into any grad schools and finally felt like I made the right one.
I had made the choice yesterday and told my teacher today that I want to stay in Santa Barbara and go to UCSB if I get all rejections. Well, that's when she told me that I would get a full ride plus a stipend. Hello?!!??!! This is a win-win situation.
Stipend= getting paid to go to school. How ridiculously awesome is that?
I felt so great before I even told her and I felt a million times better than that after our talk. Santa Barbara and I have made peace with each other. As much as it's a small town, I can deal with that because of all the other great opportunities I would have. So basically, I'm excited about the next two years no matter what. What a relief.
Too bad I have my car to worry about now. I banged it up in November and now the owners are coming back April 1st and are freaked out about the damage. So I have to go hunt up some body shops and get some estimates on getting it fixed. Being in California basically means automatically upping the price because of the cost of living. So an oil change turns into a full check-up, etc. I'm not too happy about it, but it is my fault that I backed into a security gate. Don't laugh, it's actually a very reasonable story. And I was helping my roommates move something heavy! Good intentions, right?!?
I got a second job to start saving money, but for some reason that doesn't seem to be happening any time soon.
As an aside, my competitiveness is getting a full workout. This whole basketball bracket thing is consuming me. And I was about to pick Duke as losing, too!! Gr, I had to have some faith in them to get past the first round, but noooo. I think I couldn't care less about all the other teams besides UNC if I didn't have a bracket set up.
Today actually felt like Saturday. In the life of a waitress and musician, the days usually all blur together and any day off is the weekend. Today I had the day off of both jobs and had so much fun getting everything done that I needed to.
I got my hair dyed and cut yesterday and ended up paying wayyyy more than I expected, but it looks cute and my teacher gave me a couple free lessons, so I think it all evens out. I just won't be going back any time soon - I hope with this color I won't have to worry about roots. I've been trying to think of a way to describe it and the best I can come up with is that it's the color of cherry wood. If you've ever seen wood from the cherry tree, it's like a dark brown with red hints. That's what my hair looks like.
My gift certificate to Borders was harder to spend than I thought because - wouldn't you know it - this time when I went in, nothing jumped out at me right away. That's the funny thing about having money to spend. When you don't have it, you think of all the ways you could spend it, but when you do, you have trouble remembering everything that you wanted. Anyway, I very wisely settled on Mansfield Park and The Virgin Blue by Tracy Chevalier that a friend recommended. I'm back into my book juggling and I'm excited about it. Right now I have those two plus A Tree Grows in Brooklyn and Atlas Shrugged. I might need to finish one soon because that's a lot even for me.
The past two days have been much better for me, emotionally. The only thing that's hard right now is that I have to tell my teacher Jill whether I want to study at UCSB should I not get in anywhere else. It's actually a huge dilemma for me and it comes down to whether I want to go to a second-rate school just because I really really want this career in music or whether I take ultimate rejection (hypothetically) as a sign that there's more in life that I should be doing. Really tough decision and scary since if I chose the second, I would have no idea what to do with my life. I know, I know, welcome to the real world of post-college graduates.
Listening to James Taylor is probably the only comforting thing right now. I'm really feeling the distance between me and anyone that I really care about. Today was a day that I just needed to hang out with someone one-on-one and do nothing. Probably not even talk, and if that was necessary, it would need to be nonsense stuff.
I went to work, yoga, and then out to dinner with my friend Hilary and some of her friends. I have nothing in common with them and felt more alone as a result. Then I got home and my roommates are either gone or in foul moods. I could have just used some chill out time.
For some reason, I'm pushing my parents away, probably because I think I'm a big girl and can handle tough stuff, but all I really want to do is be home or have a close friend nearby.
I found out from UT-Austin today and didn't get in. It was the nicest rejection that I've ever gotten and the teacher wrote me a personal note and she sounded genuinely sorry that she didn't accept me, but it doesn't change the fact.
I need to snap out of this because I think I'm letting myself get sucked into some sort of 'people should feel sorry for me' depression when I just need to be celebrating life. The grad school thing doesn't help though.
The bright part of the day was that I got a very late Christmas present (ahem, Megan) from my mom's friend - a gift certificate to Borders!!!! Tomorrow I'm going to spend hours browsing in there and Ann Taylor, to 'get to know my merchandise' aka go shopping.
Well this blog is my outlet of emotions, good or bad and tonight it definitely is tough for me.
Most of you know about my friend Ross from California that I came out to visit for a spring break during college. Well, his parents emailed me to tell me that he took his life recently.
I've never had news hit me so hard and have never cried so much for a person that I've only seen a total of about 8 days face-to-face.
This is rough for me for so many reasons. When I first met him, we had an amazing connection and we both discussed about a year later that had we not lived on opposite sides of the US, we probably would have dated. We had so much in common and never ran out of things to talk about. One of my favorite memories is walking around Boston with him until 2 or 3 in the morning, getting lost and not really caring because the company was so great. Ross was one of those people that I had a really good online relationship with - you know the people that you rarely talk to in real life, but who you keep in touch with through AIM and have meaningful conversations with despite (or because of) a lack of a phone. It's always been easier for me to express myself in writing and I love the ability to change my mind about saying something once it's already been typed out. But I digress.
When I came out to Santa Barbara, I was psyched that I would be so near where he was going to school and was eager to find out if we had the same connection. When I visited him, I found a changed person. Apparently, he was struggling with a lot of things in life. I felt so helpless, especially since he seemed so intent on pushing me away because I reminded him of a time that he now regarded as a time when he wasn't really himself. We parted and he made it pretty clear that he just needed to work things out on his own - so I wrote him a letter saying that I didn't want to just end our friendship there and that I would be there if he ever needed to talk.
We weren't that close, and there's no use blaming myself, but I can't shake the feeling that there's something else I could have done.
Every time I say it out loud, it just hits me fresh in the face.
Well, I know many people don't read this, but for anyone that is reading it, sorry for the heavy stuff. It helps so much to just write it, to make it more real and to get some of my feelings out there.
A few memories that I will never forget:
The beanie/tobogan that he crocheted for me
Making pizza and having really really sticky dough
Going to my first drive-in movie
Getting lost in Boston
R.I.P Ross Crabill
I am the newest employee at our local Ann Taylor LOFT.
When I was thinking about a second job, I realized that there was no way I hated myself enough to get a second waitressing position and couldn't think of anything that would be flexible enough to fit with my current restaurant job. And then, eureka! Why not work at a store that I'm already a walking bulletin board for and get paid to shop there for quite the discount?!
Honestly, nothing can be worse than Williams-Sonoma retail. There I had to know every tiny detail about every single product. I think I could do a much better job there now that I've been living on my own for a while... I'm really appreciative of nice pots and pans (or the lack thereof).
Plus, as I told my new manager (who happens to be one year older than I), I love to sort. I feel like working in a clothing store is just that - making sure stuff goes back where it started and putting stuff on racks that go together. It can't be that hard, can it?
I guess I'll find out.
wow. it's been way too long since I last posted. there's no way that I can cover everything that has occured in the past week. I'll see if I can use bullet points...
- saw the fam in San Francisco, had an amazing Indian celebration dinner, had a good audition, would be totally psyched to go there.
- saw Jennifer Smith in Rochester, met the boyfriend, I give approval.
- Eastman audition - eh. I won't be surprised if I get a rejection letter. Honestly, there's probably only one opening and the teacher didn't seem that thrilled by my playing.
- saw snow for the first time this winter! it even snowed when I was there, which was fun.
- plane trips were fairly uneventful until yesterday and then I had a huge baggage fiasco which I don't care to go into in detail. Let's just say that USAirways got quite a lengthy complaint email from me.
- drove up from LA this morning just in time to see UNC crush Duke for one of the last (or the last) games of the regular season. I've never actually joined a tournament pool before and am curious to see how I will do on Facebook.
- i have an interview tomorrow for my potential second job. I really don't see any reason why they wouldn't hire me.
- it's good to be home - I'm looking forward to having somewhat of a normal schedule this week.
- I'm starting yoga and a much healthier eating regiment, as well as adding more exercise in general. To prepare myself for the day not too long in the future when I will be without a car, I'm going to walk to as many places as possible, including work whenever I know that I'll be returning in the daylight.
- A pipe broke in our house the day I left a week ago. It's just getting fixed tomorrow and I will have no water the whole day. *sigh* I have a feeling that this is going to be one of those 'you don't know what you have til it's gone' moments.
- It's March! This time next month I will be making graduate school decisions (and/or life decisions) ............. I still think worst-case scenarios and won't believe I have somewhere to go next year until I hold the letter in my hand.
Note to self: A large cup of coffee on an empty stomach when not used to caffeine is deadly. I've been feeling awful most of the day.
I had some very random dreams last night: one involved a huge worm (see MIB II that I watched a couple of days ago) eating little by little a city that was built right over the ocean. I had to keep jumping from building to building. Then I had some friends visit and two were dating that I never would have expected. It was a little freaky.
It's so funny to me that I'm living in one of the most beautiful places on the west coast and I can only stand it for a few weeks at a time. I'm so excited to be leaving on Sunday!!
I get to see my parents the whole time I'm in San Francisco, which will make my audition/vacation even more fun, and then when I go to Eastman I get to see the fabulous Jennifer Smith (and her new boyfriend - I will be playing the 'you-need-to-gain-my-approval' friend).
On a similar note, Southwest is having a sale from LA to Denver for $79 one way... what thinkest thou, oh fellow red-headed kindred spirit?
I'm applying for a second job, but I'm in the middle of interviews and I don't want to say what it is in case I jinx it... but I will be really stoked if I get it.
I've been looking at cars, just because I will need one for three out of the five schools I've applied to and would really like to own my own car. The list includes:
Toyota RAV4
Toyota Corolla
Honda Civic
Mazda 3
I either want a cute little four-door that gets good MPG and is safe and reliable, or a mini-SUV of the same criteria. My dad really is pulling for the RAV4 just because it's higher up and supposedly safer that way. Toyota is supposed to be one of the best companies out there. I was looking at Ford Focus for a while, but no one puts it on their "best" lists. Sad/ironic that the ones that are are all foreign. But Toyota and Honda have done my family well, so I'll probably carry on the tradition.
All this means that when I drive up from LA next Saturday, I'm going to go test-driving!! I've never done that before! Another item to check off the "now I'm truly a grown-up" list.
With the discovery of Double Rainbow ice cream (sold in Trader Joe's - if you have one, go out right now and buy a whole pint of whatever flavor you want) and it's pure heavenly taste, along with my obsession with French, I thought this was appropriate:
| Your Icecream Flavour is... French Vanilla! |
 You're a smooth and silky suave type! You exude class and you believe in tradition. A classical taste who doesn't like things to be too flashy or showy. Climb the Eiffel tower of taste with a spoonfull of you! Oui Oui! |
Find out at Go Quiz
This beautiful Sunday morning all I have done is finish a chick book that never fails to make me cry so that the words become blurry, watched a movie, made a breakfast scramble from scratch, and sip green tea listening to some feel-good songs on the radio.
Some days I wonder if all this sitting around is laziness and whether I've been wasting my time in California. Given, I have progressed very far in my musical studies, but I'm not the musician that spends hours upon hours in the practice room. So what have I done with all of my spare time?
But every time that I start to berate myself, I realize that life could hit me square in the face any time soon with school, a family, or a career that is just around the corner. And then I'll look back on this year as a time to really get to know myself, have time to focus on what I want out of life, and become a stronger person. I feel like I've grown so much over the past few months. I've had a lot of life experiences that I'm ashamed of, but that have made me a whole lot stronger in my convictions.
I've also found the difference between spending time with people just to be social and spending time with them because they are really quality. In college, I was so spoiled because everyone that I surrounded myself with were quality people that shared my interests and were willing to be silly, honest, and spontaneous. When you're not in a school setting, it's so much harder to find people like that and it's even harder to find time to spend with them because of conflicting work schedules and the like. But on reflection, I have found a very few people that I turn to in different moods and situations: One I can vent to and who talks with me about any life decision with honesty, one I could spend hours talking to just because we share so many similar interests and outlooks on life, and one shares my love of Carolina basketball and can share memories of our beloved Chapel Hill.
However, there is this little ache for the old times, the old friends that shows up from time to time.
I also yearn for someone to share my everyday life with. Little things like all of the amazing dishes that I'm learning to make from scratch with whatever I have in the kitchen. I feel so accomplished and want someone to revel in my cooking genius. I want to be able to share stories from work, the nice couple that gave me a sip of their wine, or the lady that complained about me for 10 minutes. I'm learning so much about myself that I'm ready to share it because I finally feel good about the decisions I make (mostly), have learned to like me and all my quirks, and am a little sick of being alone most of the time.
I honestly think I was born in the wrong time period - I needed to grow up in the 1930s or 40s when girls were getting married at 19 or 20. But then I wouldn't be able to play my flute and I probably would be a cooking, baby-making, and cleaning machine. Blech.
Today is my day off. I have never been so excited about a day since probably Christmastime.
During the past two days, I have been on my feet for 24 hours and have been at my restaurant for 22 of those hours. And the really ironic part is that out of my 4 shifts, last night was the easiest and most fun for me. I only had 4 tables in my section, which meant that I didn't have to rush around like crazy and actually got to converse with the people that were out for Valentine's Day. And everyone was super nice.
However, by the end of the night, I was so bone tired that I fell asleep instantly. Of course, the fact that I stayed up til 4 am talking and had a heavy sedative helped the situation.
So my Valentine's Day was quite pleasant - even though almost everyone that I work with has a sig. other, we all went out afterwards and just hung out together. It was a nice sense of comradeship. Honestly, it was just another day for me and I really didn't feel like I was missing out on anything.
However, I did buy the cutest earrings for the occasion. They are long, dangly, red and white hearts and they look sweet with my all black. I got compliments all night ;)
I'm still a little groggy, so I don't have anything too intelligent or thought-provoking to post right now. Hurray for days off!!
After spending you-don't-want-to-know-how-long on this website, I felt the need to post the end result:
Me posing - as an M&M - in front of an ancient Mayan ruin in Belize, the country on the top of my to-visit list. I really wish I had shoes that color.
I am officially halfway through my auditions, with what is, in my mind, the two hardest left. But I have had very encouraging signs along the way that say that I am ready for whatever I may face in the next few weeks.
In my audition today, the professor echoed what the teacher at USC said, which was, in essence 'I think you're a good player and want to say that I will take you, but I can't commit since the auditions aren't over yet.' While this may sound flakey to anyone not in the music world, this is one of the biggest signs of encouragement. She even made sure that I knew she was serious because she added that she really doesn't like to say anything to candidates, but that I had "drastically improved." From either this summer or last year's audition, I'm not sure which.
Sorry, I'm not trying to toot my own horn. Au contraire, I'm trying to pump myself up for the two schools that would probably be my top two if I had to make a list of which I want to attend. But frankly, after being told most of my music life that I have potential but that I still need a lot of work, it's nice to actually have some of my work pay off.
I'm not counting any chickens yet though.
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As my reward, I went out and saw a movie by myself. Since I had gone to the awards show that honored him at SBIFF, I figured I should go see Dreamgirls that was directed by Bill Condon. I really liked it! Very well acted, and although I understand star status, Jennifer Hudson really should have been one of the first shown in the credits instead of being listed after all the major stars with much more insignificant roles. But, she wasn't an actress before, so I understand. Wow, she totally deserves all these awards she's getting. Can anyone tell me why she's supporting actress and Beyonce is lead actress? Is it because of name recognition? But honestly, everyone did a great job. Eddie Murphy wasn't Eddie Murphy for once. In fact, I'm not sure he had a single comedic line.
Oh, and I cried at the end (well, got choked up and slightly teary which is saying a lot for me), so that's a sign of a good movie, since I'm a rock normally.
As a side note, I saw a sign in a bookstore that said:
"Don't judge a book by it's movie."
I thought that was pretty clever.
Is it just me, or do the two seem to go hand in hand a lot more often nowadays? It's like either movies are made from books that were bestsellers only the year before, or books are written based on movies. I can't walk into Borders any more without seeing a whole section called "In the Movies."
Today marked the beginning of my mini-vacation and I'm very excited about the way that it has started out .
I finishe my lunch shift and ordered a chicken caeser salad which was exactly what I wanted. You know how important that is.
Then I came home and chilled out for a couple hours and then watched the Duke UNC game that was nerve-wracking and amazing all at once. We totally dominated in the second half and our comeback was so thrilling since the one and only time I ever watched a game was one of our three losses out of 23 games. My friend and I went to a bar and grabbed a drink to celebrate.
However.
The bar that we went to is known for making the stiffest drinks in town, and folks, I'm glad I love gin. Because that's basically all that was in my drink. With a touch of tonic and some lime juice. A good 6 oz. of gin. Yeah.
Then I went to my friend, Bri's party in her room for having finally cleaned it after 6 months. It looks beautiful. I had two very stiff White Russians and we "watched" Lost and South Park and then retreated upstairs to debate everything from gossip at work, to yoga, to how we've changed from high school. It was a great night. And I met their cute (boy) roommate who happens to work as an architect and who I got to share my newfound love of The Fountainhead with.
I'm leaving for LA, then Austin tomorrow. I love to fly! I love vacation!
My bad, Apple doesn't make minis anymore. But a nano would be just as cool and it can still hold up to 2,000 songs. And I could get it in electric blue.
Today was just one of those days that, as my co-worker so succinctly put it, I wish I hadn't gotten up.
My brain was totally not in gear at any point in the day and I would constantly catch myself hanging up clothes that were dirty, driving down a street without paying attention, and staring off into space. It's like I was on auto pilot but my brain forgot to start the engine.
It started out as a so-so day. Not bad, not good.
I sounded okay (flute-wise), but not spectacular and I really couldn't convince myself to buckle down and work on something. My workout was okay, but I didn't really feel great afterwards. I went food shopping and only got necessary stuff, which is always boring. (Let me insert what an amazing store Trader Joe's is ... I got my week's worth of groceries for $13. But then again, I'm leaving town on Thursday, so that's not fabulous).
Then the day got progressively worse.
Folks, I've had two deaths in my life in the past 5 hours. Don't get too concerned, they're not people or anything.
My mom called me after work and told me that our oldest cat, Molly, had died this morning. Apparently my dad sent me an email telling me because he couldn't even get on the phone to tell me. She lived a very full life - she was 13 - and I was sort of expecting it just because she hasn't been looking great the past few times I've been home. In fact, I think I'm okay about it, but I'm really concerned about my dad. Literally this is like losing a child for him. If you've had a pet die that was like a family member, then you understand. She was so spoiled by him and could get away with anything. Add to that the fact that he's alone b/c my mom is in San Francisco and you can imagine what he's going through. I wish I could hop a plane just to be there.
The second death was tragic as well. Actually, they're on two completely different planes so I'm not even going to compare them. My iPod's hard drive crashed. This implies clicking noises and a screen with a picture of an iPod that has crosses for eyes and a tongue sticking out. I'm not kidding. There's nothing I can do b/c it's not on warranty anymore and a new hard drive would cost about half as much as a new iPod. I've been contemplating getting a mini instead since they apparently only last for 2 years anyway and I'll never be able to fill up an iPod like the one that died in 2 years. I just don't listen to that much music, but the stuff I do listen to is really important. I use that thing daily... grrrrr.
The only good parts of my day were that I got a bonus on my check that I wasn't expecting and that I made some money at work tonight and got to keep it all since I was the only one working.
I'm hoping that tomorrow will be an improvement...
I'm sooooo ready for bed. But I feel like blogging because I'm on that very fine line between awake and comotose. Well, really I blame it on the Red Bull and vodka that was my first drink of the evening/morning.
It is so easy to just walk into parties if you know the right ones to go to. Don't get me wrong - I'm not a crasher, but if I was, the one I was working at would have been perfect. Just dress in black and say that you're catering or with the caterers and BAM you're in! It worked for me... except I was with them. But man, a party with free food and apps is the place to be around 12:30 because everyone is leaving and the alcohol is flowing freely. Oh gosh, now I sound like an alcoholic. I'm at the point where I'm ready to delete my entry, but I think it will be much more entertaining this way.
I spent the night passing food, saying/yelling over and over what I was serving, and flirting with the cute boys that can afford $2000 tickets to get them into parties such as this. The VIP room was a joke or at least I didn't know any of them, but I think I saw Steven Spielberg. Not sure though.
My chef is known for drinking on the job, so when he asked me to get him two drinks, I was not surprised. I was surprised when he hands one to me and one to another girl I work with and says, Cheers. I'm starting to like this grizzly bear man more and more. He's a grizzly bear b/c he's gruff on the outside and hard to get to know, but really is just a teddy bear.
Oh gosh, I'm rambling. I think I just need to go to bed. Well, fun reading. Or deciphering. Actually, I'm typing pretty well. Good night!
I smell like Pina Coladas. Sweeet. Literally.
I am having major problems motivating myself to practice this week. I need to keep reminding myself that just because I had a good audition doesn't mean that I actually got in. Also, I just made a reservation for renting a car in Texas and will be spending an extra $80 not to mention gas down to L.A. So that's some good motivation right there - it'd be really great if I didn't spend all that money for nothing.
Instead I've been baking, cooking, getting my tax return together, and working out to avoid practicing. Oh, add to that blogging. I'm going, I'm going, but I'm not going willingly quite yet...
Well last night was probably the best night I'll have this week.
First, I got dressed to the nines and may I say, damn I looked hot. Proof:
My roommate lent me her very chic wrap, so I had to get a full-length view too:
Sorry, it's sorta dark but hopefully you get the picture. hardy har har.
I felt very VIP as I flashed my Platinum Pass and they let me and my friend right in, where we waited for 30 minutes before the program even started. Oh well, it's the concept of being able to get right in that counts, right?
The program was cool (but no screening of Dreamgirls since this guy, Bill Condon, was being honored for his life's work basically.) There were film montages and an interview for about an hour w/ the director. I didn't know it, but he also did Gods and Monsters, Chicago, and a movie I hadn't heard about but really want to see now, Kinsey with Liam Neeson. It was neat to see the array of genres he has worked in and get to hear his insights as an up-and-coming director, but someone that hasn't hit full stardom yet.
Two of the Dreamgirls (the other two besides Beyonce) gave him the award and both were featured in some clips. Um, if you haven't heard Jennifer Hudson's voice yet, go out and see the movie. I'll be right behind you. Her voice is INCREDIBLE. We're talking blowtheroofoff, mirrorshatteringinagoodway amazing. She's the one that was voted off American Idol and is sure showing them who's boss.
This is the three of them. Sorry, guys, I'm a little star happy.
Then came the after party. Of course no one famous was there b/c I'm sure they were at some super secret after party, but I am not one to pass up free drinks and food. Again, I was waved in with my pass as I made my way up the red carpet (probably the only one I'll ever walk on, haha). Once inside, I was bombarded with delicious food and an open bar. Can life get better? Apparently it could. As we were walking around, we discovered a third level to the venue and suddenly we were in a paradise of desserts and free massages. Oh, that wasn't it though - oh no - there were also free products to just take at will. So I loaded up on shea butter that smelled of pina colada and lotion that smelled of pink champagne (not really, it was sorta flowery).
You know when you go get a manicure and the best part is the hand massage? Well, that's what I got for 5 minutes. haaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Feeling relaxed, full, and happy, my friend Patty and I felt like it was completely appropriate to duck out at 12:15. I went to bed a pampered girl. I like this treatment, but I think I could get sick of it after a while, or at least grow to not appreciate it as much.
I'm on a blogging roll - I guess I just have a lot to say recently.
Well my news for today is that my manager decided to give me not only a 4 Film Pak to see 4 movies at the Film Festival, but she also gave me her two Platinum Passes to go to an awards show tonight. The show is honoring Bill Condon, the director of Dreamgirls (which I haven't seen - I hope they have a showing before they give him the award). So I'm going w/ one of my friends here and we get priority admittance as well as admittance to the party afterward w/ free booze and food.
SWEET ACTION!!!
I'm sure I will have much to share tomorrow.
On days like today when it is nasty, wet, and cold, the only appropriate thing to do is stay inside and read by the fireplace and watch movies.
I did most of the above, but since I am too lazy and poor, there was no fireplace, or at least no fire in the fireplace.
Book You Should Read
The Bookseller of Kabul by Asne Seilerstad
Wow - if you want a really good look at everyday life in Afghanistan, but can't handle straight up news like me, this is a good start. It's written as 'fiction,' but it's actually completely non-fiction and it's so interesting to read about a completely different culture and their sets of morals and social world. Talk about realizing how lucky we are as women in America and how amazing it is that we actually get to marry people that we love, and on our own time. Can you imagine marrying someone the age of your grandfather and being expected to feel blessed?
What I like in particular about this book is that it doesn't try to isolate all the differences between 'them' and 'us.' It just naturally shows them by telling stories of everyday events.
(As a side note, I really love this whole not having school and having all the free time in the world to read books that I've wanted to read for a long time. By reading the 'classics' I feel academic and by reading them on my own time, I feel indulgent.)
Movie You Should See
The Hours, with Meryl Streep, Julianne Moore, and Nicole Kidman.
Not only are those three women some of the most talented actress I know, but they're surrounded by an amazing cast. I've stated previously that I love movies that follow real time and this is another wonderful example. It just follows three women in three different decades through one day in their life and they're all connected and all almost simultaneous. The symbolism is so poignant and yet subtle at the same time and some expected outcomes and some unexpected.
Philip Glass did the score and I have to say that the music really completed the movie - constantly shifting, but keeping the same undertone and always a little uncomfortable, like you're feeling the uncertainty of each of the women even though they have such a perfect facade. (Incidentally, I think he was also listening to a little too much Counting Crows because I distinctly heard the opening of "Colorblind" at several points.)
Can I go back to how amazing the acting was? Nicole Kidman was a completely different person! Her voice was deeper, not so silky, and she fit perfectly every single aspect of her character. Meryl Streep has proven again and again that she can fill any role given to her and this was no exception. Julianne Moore had probably the hardest role because she never spoke her thoughts - so she had to show everything on her face and yet we knew exactly how she was feeling and the agony that she was going through. Ed Harris and Toni Collette had shorter roles, but no less deep and in fact might have been more complicated because they had to convey so much emotion in such a short amount of time.
The only thing I didn't really get was the whole lesbian theme. I mean I got that it was a theme, but I didn't understand the connection. Perhaps they all didn't feel like they fit in and felt conflicted because they were torn between two worlds in so many different ways?
This definitely needs to stay in my movie collection. I have a feeling I could see it over and over and still get so much out of it.